Resilient Lifts and Fits

It’s been amazing this weekend. Applying to new jobs, being productive, being more a part of the community in Chicago has been very rewarding as is the plants at the Lincoln Park Conservatory. It was lovely to see the array of Orchids, Ferns, and Rhododendron. I finally got 95lbs up for a clean and jerk and that felt exhilarating. Getting back to my weight feels good for now, it’s growing season and I’m hungry for growth. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and I am intent on this being the year I bounce back from my PTSD and what’s been holding me back from being a better member of different communities I’ve been involved in, Talking about trauma, talking about anything feels good and I forgot that I am not alone. That makes me know that everyone goes through things, it’s how we approach that problem that makes us succeed or fail. Failures are just successes in the making. We can all be stronger than we ever knew. Sometimes we just didn’t know how and I’m grateful for the help I have received from others.

Falling asleep is hard without working out constantly. When I workout more, my body falls asleep easier and I’m less restless. Tracking my sleep, heart rate, and other analytics help me better anticipate my body’s needs and I am a better athlete because of it. Only did weights today, need to do cardio together with weights to meet over 100% of my activity goal. If I can do this., I’d already be sleeping. I need CrossFit to help me sleep and ease my mind, my anxiety, and my need for perfection. I recognized I need to be accepting that I do not always have to be perfect but I can always strive and try for it.

I hope sleep finds me soon… I’d really enjoy that. I think I’m just nervous for group therapy tomorrow. Like that anxiety really keeps me up, but I am grateful for the opportunity to get better and heal. My whole soul is ready for this and I have been waiting to ask for help and now I can get the help I need. I will always be gracious of those who have helped me before and after this time of my life always.